Over at the Frankenstein Place
by RoseTintsMyWorld97
Summary: Life on Earth takes a lot of adjusting to, as a prince and his servants are finding out. This planet seems to be more full of surprises than they ever expected.
1. Starman

Helloooo, ladies, gentlemen, and anyone outside or in-between. I am here with my newest fanfiction, and I'm really excited to write this one, now that I have it all planned out. This is a prequel to RHPS, set during the time span of three years between when the Transylvanians first come to Earth and when the events of the musical take place. It also acts as a sequel to my other story, Most Beautiful, though that story focuses solely on Riff Raff and Magenta and is much less humor-oriented than this one will be. You don't have to read Most Beautiful in order to read this, since I will reference the important elements from it. But, y'know, if you want to read it, you can. . . . *shameful self promotion*

Name: Over at the Frankenstein Place

Genre: Adventure/Humor

Fandom: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Rating: M (for violence, language, drug use, and sexual situations.)

Summary: Life on Earth takes a lot of adjusting to, as a prince and his servants are finding out. This planet seems to be more full of surprises than they ever expected.

Pairings: Frank/Columbia, Riff Raff/Magenta, Eddie/Columbia, Eddie/Frank, one-sided Magenta/Columbia

RHPS belongs to Richard O'Brien.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Starman**

Dr. Scott was a highly irritable man when he was sleepy, as any of his coworkers could tell you. A curse spat in German, a smack of a table with his hand, a threat against someone's life, it was all part of his routine when it got to be late at night. Other than these moods, he was amiable, even sweet. But it was currently eleven twenty-one p. m., and no one in the UFO Investigation Branch of the FBI, set in the middle of Texas, wanted to be the one to call him in.

" _I'm_ not doing it," Cheryl said. "Last time I was the one to call him in this late, he almost bit my ear off through the phone. You do it, Dave."

"Hell no," Dave said. "Do you think I want to be the one to hear his weird demon voice? I vote on Antoine."

"You're not throwing me on the phone with him," Antoine said. "You couldn't pay me to do it."

This sort of bickering went on until Michael, a particularly brave soul (or particularly stupid and naive, either was accurate) went to pick up the phone and dial in Dr. Scott's number. The others waited with bated breath.

The phone clicked. "Vhat?" Dr. Scott's thick German accent came through. "Vhat is it? Who ze hell is calling me so late?"

"Dr. Scott," Michael said, his voice bright and cheery. "It's Michael, Michael Perkins? Your coworker -"

"I know who ze hell you are," Dr. Scott's voice growled out, and Michael jumped a bit at the harshness. He could now see what Dave had meant by "weird demon voice." "Vhat do you vant? You'd better have a good reason for vaking me up."

"Er - you're breaking up a bit, sir -"

"Don't call me 'sir,'" Dr. Scott's rough voice responded, and after a bit of fuzzy noise on the other end, his words came in much clearer. " _Scheiß drauf_ ," he said in German, "do you hear me now?"

"Ah, yes sir - I mean, Dr. Scott," Michael said. "You're coming in fine. I'm fine, too, don't you, uh, think it's good to be fine?"

"Vhat do you vant, _dummkopf?_ " Harsher now, almost a yell.

"Uh. . . ." Michael said. "Well. . . . now then, Dr. Scott, you know we've always talked about the possibility of an invasion. . . ."

"A vhat?"

"An invasion, Dr. Scott, an alien invasion. Well, now the thing is -"

"If you're calling me to tell me zat Cheryl pulled anozer prank on you to make you zink zat you need to wear a tinfoil hat to survive an invasion like last week, I svear, I vill personally make sure -" He _was_ yelling now, and quite heartily.

"No! No, no -" Michael stammered. "What I mean to say, um, is that, one of our agents, he saw just a, um, funny little thing on the scanners, and it was just a little. . . . funny. Well, I'll tell you what he saw, he saw a UFO. . . . land near your hometown. "

" _Scheiß auf eis_ , are you joking?" Dr. Scott's voice almost blew right through the phone. "A real UFO? Are you serious?"

"Yes -"

" _Scheißkerl,_ I need to get over zere! Vhy did no von tell me sooner?" Dr. Scott raged on the other side of the phone. "I'm getting over zere, as soon as possible, don't any of you touch anyzing!"

When Dr. Scott finally made it to the headquarters, he burst into the room on his wheelchair, almost running over Dave and Antoine as he zipped by, heading for the nearest scanner. "Vhere is it? Vhere is ze UFO sighting?"

"It's - it's right here, Dr. Scott," Cheryl stuttered a bit. She turned the scanner to the pinpointed sight - a large clearing in the middle of a deserted forest near Denton. A beeping indicated that something had indeed landed there. Something that wasn't of an identifiable origin.

"Vhere did it come from?"

"It came from outer space," Antoine said. "It was moving so fast we almost didn't catch it. But it slowed down significantly before it touched the surface, and we believe it may have been landing there on purpose. None of our readings have indicated that it is of terrestrial origin."

" _Heil dem Führer_ , we have a sighting!" Dr. Scott laughed, but his voice was still so thick with sleepiness that it came out sounding almost Satanic. "We need to investigate zis as soon as possible!"

* * *

When he looked out of the window, all Frank saw was trees. Trees everywhere around their castle, some brushing against it directly, others far away. He made a mental note to have Riff Raff cut down a few, in case a storm hit and caused the beautiful windows to get scratched up by branches.

He giggled in almost childish delight as he turned and nearly skipped to where Riff Raff was manning the controls. Their matching black and gold spacesuits were gleaming in the bright lights of the pink control room, which would also double as their lab. The dome-shaped glass that served as the roof glimmered faintly, and through it, Frank could see stars that were not Transylvanian in the slightest.

"Oh, Riff Raff!" He said, throwing his arms around his handyman from behind and leaning his head against the fake hunchback. Riff Raff tensed, but said nothing. "We're here, finally here! On Earth, of all planets, can you believe it? Magenta!"

Frank let go of Riff Raff and turned to where his domestic stood, halfheartedly dusting a few corners of the room. She looked up only when he was a foot away from her, and squeaked in protest when he hugged her as well, lifting her off her feet and spinning her a bit. "I cannot wait to see the sights, to see the Earthlings, don't you think this will be wonderful? Mmmm, _yes,_ " he turned away from her and strutted to the elevator, pausing in front of it and looking back to face his two servants with a playful smirk.

 _This,_ he thought, _will be a time of fun._ He was on Earth on a mission - explore it, see how fit it was for Transylvanian colonization, study its creatures and maybe make a few scientific breakthroughs on the way. But there would be time for that later. . . . now he only wanted to go out and have fun. It had taken roughly three weeks to travel from Transsexual to Earth, and he had been holed up in this castle with no one but his unresponsive employees for company.

Frank needed some action, and action he would get. "We're going out. All of us. Come now, let's go."

"Master, do you think that's a good idea? We don't know what's out there -" Riff Raff cut himself off at Frank's scathing look.

"Of course we don't know what's out there. We're here to find out, are we not?" And with that, he stepped into the elevator and motioned for them to do the same. "Come!"

Frank had brought his favorite pickup truck from Transsexual, and he drove enthusiastically on the small road that they'd parked the castle near. Fast pace, sharp turns, lots of hills so that his stomach jumped when they went down. _Yes,_ he thought. _This. This is good._ This is exciting. The adrenaline of the ride made his heart erratic and his hands tremble a bit on the wheel.

A new world. And such a beautiful one, too.

The moon was high and full above them, casting a silvery sheen across the land. The skeletal black trees whipped past them, a few leaves fluttering by the sides of the truck. The street was a thick dark path around them, and Frank hadn't the slightest clue where they were going, just that he needed to see it all. He needed to drink it all in and get intoxicated on the sights.

He had completely forgotten that his servants were in the backseat until Riff Raff sputtered out, "Master, are you going to remember the way back?"

Frank turned in his seat to face them. Riff Raff was clutching the roof handle like his life depended on it, his face vaguely paler than usual, looking frightened at the speed that they were going. Magenta - who had refused the front seat and instead opted to sit in the back with her brother - was gripping his arm, looking positively green and ready to vomit at any second from carsickness. Frank smiled at them and turned the wheel a little, causing the truck to swerve a bit off the street, and Magenta burst out " _Fuck, keep your eyes on the road!_ "

Normally, Frank would've reached back and smacked her for such an insolent comment toward her master. But tonight, he was feeling good enough to laugh and turn back to watch the street. "Oh, you both worry far too much," he said. "See, Magenta, I'm looking at the road. And Riff Raff, do forget about whether I'll remember the way home and worry more about your sister's nausea."

Silence greeted him from the backseat, and he adjusted the rearview mirror to look at them. Their eyes were wide, and Magenta looked two seconds away from blowing her dinner. He smiled again. "By the looks of it, we're almost in town anyway, so you won't have to worry about my crazy driving anymore."

* * *

Eddie von Scott worked six days a week at a crappy twenty-four-hour pizza joint in a crappy part of town with a crappy boss and crappy coworkers. The people who came in were generally single mothers looking for something quick for their kids, an occasional homeless person, and potheads who had the munchies.

Not that Eddie had anything against these types of people. His mom had been a single parent, he had been homeless for a good while, and he himself was a munching pothead. Still, it was Denton, and the underbelly of the seeming home of happiness wasn't as pretty as all the white Christian upper/middle class majority would've liked to believe.

Take now, for instance. As Eddie leaned against the alleyway of the store, enjoying a cigarette on his break, one of the strangest-looking pickup trucks he'd ever seen rounded the corner and almost crashed into a parking space in front of the restaurant. It was a sleek, shiny black, with almost neon blue headlights and a soft glow coming from the inside. Those, however, weren't the strange parts; the strange part was the gaudy white lightning-bolt design on the hood, with what looked to spell out "Furter" on the sides.

It wasn't nearly as weird, however, as the people who hopped out of it. One of the back doors opened and a woman came nearly sprinting out, hitting the nearest trashcan before vomiting with such a force Eddie was almost afraid she'd heave out her organs. Two men got out of the car afterwards, one blonde and one dark-haired, and the blonde man - Eddie saw that he had a large hunchback, poor guy - rushed to the woman's side to put a hand on her back and mutter soothingly when she came up for air. The dark-haired man marched to them in a haughty manner, and Eddie heard him declare "Oh, really, you could have told me if carsickness was _that_ much of a problem!" The three wore matching suits. . . . if suits was the right word for what they had on. Black and gold coverings that didn't leave anything up to the imagination with their hips and waists; the dark briefs and garter fishnets barely covered anything. Their hair was all up, the two men having odd-looking ponytails at the tops of their heads, the woman with a red Bride of Frankenstein-esque beehive hairdo. And the makeup - all three wore dramatic, theatrical makeup. Red lips, smokey eyes, white faces.

Eddie found himself giving them mental nicknames before he'd even realized it. It was a habit of his, to give people names in his mind so that he didn't have to remember them by their physical features alone. It felt more humanising, in that way, for them to have names. And these three people. . . . he didn't even know if they would leave and he'd never see them again after she was done throwing up, but they were so odd and out of place that he had to call them something. It would be too much just to describe them. The woman, who had now stopped her sickness to breathe deeply as she leaned over the garbage can, was dubbed Elsa Lanchester due to her hair. The blonde hunchback reminded him a bit of Igor, with his skeletal body and wide eyes, so Igor was what he became. And the third man. . . .

As the last man looked away from Igor and Elsa, Eddie caught sight of that hint of wildness in his eyes, that air of what could only be described as rock 'n' roll about him. This man was undeniably beautiful, sexy even, and Eddie was comfortable enough with his own sexuality to think so. This. . . . this starman would be dubbed Alice Cooper. There was no one else who could fit the bill for him.

And Alice, it seemed, had set his sights on Eddie. That pair of olive-green eyes fixated themselves on him and a white grin broke out against his bloody red lips, and he strutted toward Eddie with such confidence it almost made Eddie want to puff out his chest and show this man that he, too, could be that self-assured. And when Alice was in front of him, smiling like the Cheshire Cat, he couldn't help but smile right back at him and say, "Hey, buddy. What's up?"

For some reason, Alice seemed delighted at this statement, and let out a low giggle that definitely matched his physical sex appeal. He spoke, low and husky in an accent that Eddie couldn't place. "How do you do, ah. . . ?" He held out his hand for a shake, his voice trailing off, inquiring after Eddie's name.

"Eddie," he responded, and when he took Alice's hand, instead of having it be shaken, Alice took it to his lips and kissed his knuckles. Eddie felt the heat go straight to his cheeks.

"Eddie," Alice purred. "So nice to meet you. If you don't mind, would you tell me where we are, exactly? My companions and I are new to this town, and you see, we don't even really know the name. . . ."

"Denton is the name of the town," Eddie said. "Home of happiness, or so the big breadwinners would have you believe."

The other two made their way over. Elsa was swaying slightly, holding Igor's arm as if it were her lifeline, and Igor had his wary blue eyes fixed on Eddie. They stopped a few meters away from where he stood with Alice, but Alice would have none of that, motioning to them to move closer. "Come on now, you two, don't be so antisocial. Feeling better, Magenta?"

Elsa nodded a bit, but the expression on her face indicated that she likely wasn't really feeling better at all. Eddie grinned at her - damn, she was a gorgeous - and said, "You doing alright, baby? Saw you puking over there; looked pretty raunchy."

"I'm fine," she said, her voice a bit snippy, and she seemed to squeeze Igor's arm tighter. Her own eyes, a brighter shade of green than Alice's, were regarding him with suspicion.

"Now, there's no need to be rude," Alice admonished her. "Eddie here was just telling me that we're in the town of Denton. The 'home of happiness,' I believe you called it?" He turned to look back at Eddie and took his hand again, rubbing the back of his fingers gently with a thumb. "Mind telling us a bit more? We're so _very_ lost."

"Sure," Eddie said. "Come inside, I can tell you more over some nice greasy pizza."

Alice followed him without letting go of his hand, swinging it slightly as they stepped into the restaurant. It was small, dingy, and Eddie almost felt ashamed for working there. He wanted to impress Alice, to make him think that Eddie worked a much comfier, better-paying job. . . . but Alice seemed utterly fascinated, taking in everything with a childlike curiosity. When Eddie led him up to the counter, he dropped Eddie's hand, eyes scrutinizing the menu like he'd never seen pictures of pizza before.

Eddie's coworker, Mickey, made his way over to them. Mickey was the only other person in the restaurant; it was nearly one in the morning, and so few customers meant few employees to work. Mickey snorted a bit - he was a greaser with quite a few hygiene issues - and said, "Welcome to Alberto's Pizza, may I take your - what the hell do you want, Eddie?" His lazy voice became irritated quickly. "Shouldn't you be on break?" His eyes went to Alice, and then travelled back to Igor, who stood a ways away with Elsa. "Who the hell are these flits?"

"Allow me to introduce myself," Alice said. He reached out a hand and gave Mickey an eager smile. "My name is Frank N. Furter; you can call me Frank. And these," he turned and waved at the other two, "are my faithful attendants, Riff Raff and Magenta Vitus. Such a _pleasure_ to meet you -"

"We don't serve flits," Mickey was eyeing him with open disgust. "You get these faggots out of here, Eddie -"

"Now, hold on a second, Mick," Eddie said. "I'm paying for them. And technically, we can't refuse anyone service." It was true. Their boss had a strict policy that they serve anyone, regardless of who the person was. Money was money, after all. "Come on, Mick, I'll even go back and make the pizza."

"Whatever," Mickey grumbled. "What do you want?"

"You order for us, Eddie," Alice said, and Eddie noticed that he'd backed away from the counter a bit and was regarding Mickey with a haughty stare. "Anything you like."

"Family sized pineapple, then," Eddie said, and once he'd paid, he made his way to the kitchen to bake the pizza.

When he came back out, his three guests were seated at a booth near the window, Elsa and Igor on one side, Alice on the other. He supposed he should start thinking of them by their real names, since he'd finally learned them, but his mind refused. He placed the pizza on the table and slid in next to Alice, who gave him a grin and said, "Why thank you, Eddie. We haven't had much to eat in the past few hours, what with our. . . . travelling."

"No problem," Eddie said. He looked at Elsa, who was eyeing the pizza with apprehension. "You gonna be able to eat, baby? Or are you still feeling sick?"

". . . . I think it'd be better if I didn't," she muttered. Igor looked at her with concern, but picked up a piece of pizza and nibbled at it himself.

"I _love_ it!" Eddie noticed then that Alice was practically stuffing his face, and was talking to him in between bites. "I say, what do you call this delicious food?"

"Pineapple pizza," Eddie said with a laugh, helping himself to a piece. "Glad to see you're happy with it."

"Tell me, Eddie," Alice said, and Eddie felt his knee brush against him. "What was it that your friend was calling us? Flits? Faggots?"

"Er - you don't know?" Eddie felt the surprise leak into his expression. Dressed like he was, how could he not know? When he looked at Igor and Elsa, they seemed to be just as lost, looking at him with curiosity. "Um, well. They both mean men who date other men."

"And that's considered a bad thing around here?"

"Yeah." Jesus where are these people from? France? "But I mean, between you and me," he leaned in a bit and muttered, "I've always been a little of a flit myself."

Alice blinked once and then smirked. He moved so close to Eddie that for a second Eddie thought Alice was going to kiss him. But Alice merely ran a finger along his jaw and said, "Between you and me, I don't care about gender at all." Then he sat back and turned to grin at his companions, who didn't look at all perplexed about his behavior. "Now, we'd like to hear about Denton, wouldn't we? Tell us about it."

Eddie shook himself out of a slight daze - that perfume Alice was wearing was intoxicating - and told them about Denton. The happy hearts, the smiling faces, the tolerance for the ethnic races. . . . the big underground weed operation, the high rates of divorce, the racial violence. Alice listened with rapt attention, and Igor was watching him speak with interest. Elsa seemed more preoccupied with taking small bites of her pizza, having decided that eating might have been worth the trouble, anyway.

* * *

Cheryl and Antoine were ordered to get plenty of pictures to give to Dr. Scott, and what they found at the landing sight made them start clicking their cameras furiously.

A castle. A large, gothic castle, placed unceremoniously in the center of the clearing, with a slight mist of smoke hanging around it. If this was the UFO, Antoine said, then it sure wasn't doing a very good job of hiding itself.

Still, they got pictures from every angle they could, and just as Cheryl suggested that they try to go inside, they heard the distant sounds of something driving down the road. At first they were unconcerned - they might have been in the middle of nowhere, but it wasn't unusual to have a car passing. But when the headlights pulled into the direction of the castle, Cheryl pulled Antoine into the direction where their own little buggie was hidden in the trees, and they watched from a distance as an odd-looking pickup truck pulled in front of the castle, parking right in front of it.

A trio of people walked out, and though Cheryl and Antoine couldn't see them very well in the dark of the night, they saw the vague shapes of three people get out of the truck and make their way into the castle. Cheryl was about to take a photo, but Antoine nudged her and whispered, "We don't want them to hear the clicking."

They distant sounds of one of them laughing made its way to their ears, and Cheryl shuddered a bit. _Aliens. They've got to be aliens._

 _I hope they're aliens._

* * *

AN: I'm wondering how many people caught the reference to Dr. Strangelove in here, ha ha. Anyway, hope you all enjoyed!


	2. White Rabbit

Woooooo, that was a long hiatus. I'm so sorry to everyone who's been waiting. I sent out a few messages concerning it, but to those who didn't get them, there's an explanation for my absence on my profile, if you care enough to read it. But, I am here and have not forgotten about this story, and I do hope to be updating more frequently now that my life has settled down.

Much love to you all!

There's drug use and gun violence in this chapter, so mild warning for that.

* * *

 **Chapter 2: White Rabbit**

Magenta didn't find it odd that she was sitting in a room with a vampire, a talking blob, and a white rabbit. The fact that she didn't find this odd was, in itself, odd.

The vampire - he looked vaguely familiar, with his sleek black hair and his flashing olive-green eyes - was grinning at her before taking a long swig of blood from a wine glass. "How's the paper tasting, Magenta?"

Magenta blinked a bit and realized that there was indeed a square of paper on her tongue. She reached in to pull it out and look at it; there was a small happy face on it, for whatever reason. "It tastes like paper," she told him.

"'Course it does," the blob laughed. It was nothing but a veiny pink thing, with one large, toothy mouth in the center. "It wouldn't be the real thing, if it had a taste."

The white rabbit leaned in closer to her. It struck her that it was wearing a black and white old suit, and that this was weird, because she was fairly sure that rabbits, Transylvanian or Earthling, didn't wear suits. "Are you alright, my love? Your eyes look a bit. . . . big."

"Big?" She said. And when she turned away to look into a mirror - were they in the castle zen room? She couldn't tell - and saw what the white rabbit was talking about. Her green eyes were quite literally as wide as dinner plates, bulging out of her head and drooping so that she couldn't see the rest of her face. Her hair was a puff of red framing them, her body comparatively small.

She felt her jaw drop, and for a moment didn't see it - until it fell out from under her eyes and to the floor, disconnecting itself from the rest of her face. She looked downwards, seeing her pale jaw lying on the floor, the red sliver that was her bottom lip on the top, her teeth gleaming a bit, her tongue hanging off the side. It began to melt.

When Magenta reached out to pick up the fallen body part, her arm shimmered and faded like a mirage, and she stopped to wave it in front of her face. It moved slowly, the white skin glowing and then dimming, until suddenly her arm fell off too. It lay next to her jaw on the carpet, and it too started melting, until a small white puddle lay in its place. The painted scarlet fingernails flashed a bit in the light of the room.

She screamed.

* * *

Riff Raff had immediately refused the small squares of paper Eddie had brought to his visit to their castle. Eddie had laughed a bit and muttered something about how it would get them all "super spaced out," and while Riff Raff didn't know what this slang meant, he didn't care to find out. Frank had refused the paper as well, opting instead for the bottles of wine Eddie had brought. Magenta had initially not wanted any paper, either - until Eddie had jokingly complained that his three new friends were "too scared" to try them.

Riff Raff knew Magenta better than anyone in the universe, and he'd known immediately how she would take that comment. His sister was usually reserved and sarcastic and fairly quiet. . . . until presented with a challenge. She was one of _those_ people, the kind who would do something stupid just to prove she wasn't afraid of anything (which Riff Raff thought rather funny, for a woman who was still unnerved by the dark.)

"Don't talk about things you don't know about," Magenta had snapped at Eddie. "I'm not scared. I just don't see a reason to stick a random square of paper into my mouth."

"Of _course_ ," Eddie had continued to tease. "You're not scared at all. Not the slightest bit freaked out. I gotcha." He winked and laughed loudly. Then Frank, from his place with the wine in the corner of the zen room, had gotten in on it.

"Magenta, dear, of course you're not afraid," Frank had said, taking a slow sip from his glass. "That look of wariness and anxiety on your face. . . . only someone who is entirely _not_ afraid would have it."

Eddie had sniggered, and thrown in, "Y'know, I'm not gonna lie to you, baby, I think you could use a little bit of Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Maybe it'll loosen you up a little. But, if you're too scared, I totally understand. . . ."

"Don't goad her," Riff Raff had said, but it was too late. Magenta had straightened her back and was looking at Eddie with fire in her eyes.

"You want to fuck around? Fine. I'll fuck around." And she'd reached for the squares of paper.

"Magenta, please, he's only -" But she'd waved her hand to quiet him. Riff Raff felt a twinge of annoyance; she'd been like this since she was a child. Easily provoked. Usually he could talk her into seeing sense, and he'd been about to try again to do so when she popped the small square of paper right on her tongue.

She'd sat back and looked at Eddie with defiance, and he only giggled. Riff Raff had put a hand on her arm and began to plead with her. "Magenta, take that out of your mouth. . . . you're being childish. . . . you don't have anything to prove. . . ."

Everything he'd said to her was met with a firm shake of the head and a swat at his hand to keep him away. So Riff Raff had instead leaned in closer to the pizza delivery boy and muttered, "If there's anything poisonous, anything that'll hurt her, then I swear I'll -"

" _Heyyyyy,_ calm down, Igor," Eddie giggled again. "Your girlfriend is fine. The stuff won't kill her." He held up his bottle of alcohol and took a long swig. "But I promise it'll be a fun show."

It was roughly an hour later when she started screeching.

* * *

Magenta backed up away from her fallen body parts and ended up tilting backwards onto the floor. She blinked rapidly and moved her hands in front of her face - her hands? She looked again. Yes, her hands. They were both present and accounted for, and there were not any melted bits of her lying on the floor. She immediately felt her face; her jaw was still there, and her eyes were of normal size.

" _Magenta!_ " The white rabbit was next to her suddenly, its large, soft paws on her back. "Are you alright? Why did you scream?"

She paid no attention to it, and instead noticed that the floor around her was made out of glass, and they appeared to be hundreds of feet into the air. The dim lights of a city glowed under them. She scrambled to her feet.

"What the fuck? Where are -" she began, but when she turned, she saw that the rabbit was the only one of her companions who was still there. The other two were gone, having been replaced by ten-foot-tall shadows. Cold air seemed to emanate from them, a type of cold that penetrated Magenta's skin and froze the marrow in her bones. The white rabbit was still there, looking at her with what she supposed was concern, but in the spike of panic she almost didn't register it.

She tried to open her mouth to speak, only to realize that she couldn't; the shadows had indeed frozen her. She couldn't seen any inch of herself, but she knew, something in her mind knew that she had become nothing more than a statue of ice.

A statue of ice, oh fuck, _oh fuck_. . . .

* * *

"Magenta? Magenta? My darling, what. . . ?" Riff Raff was kneeling next to his sister, shaking her, but she seemed locked into position. Her eyes were wide, her pupils almost entirely devouring the green of her irises, and she stared at him with blank horror.

"What. . . ?" Riff Raff repeated. And then he whipped around to face Eddie, who was still giggling in the corner. " _What did you give her!? You told me it wouldn't hurt her -_ "

"Cool it, Igor." Eddie said, leaning back in the chair and accidentally spilling a bit of beer on his shirt. "Elsa's just having a trip, is all. She'll be back to her old saucy self in maybe eight hours."

" _Eight hours!?_ She'll be like this for eight -"

"Riff Raff, do pay more attention to her," Frank said, an eyebrow raising as his gaze strayed past Riff Raff. "It looks like she's found her ability to move again."

When Riff Raff turned back to her, he saw that she had indeed moved. Gotten up and moved away from him, stumbling with an alarming speed out of the zen room.

"Magenta, wait!" He got up to follow her out into the darkness of the hallway, Frank and Eddie laughing behind him.

 _Fucking hell, we are never inviting that little shit Eddie into this castle again._

* * *

Cheryl had volunteered to go to the odd castle on her own this time. It wasn't that she minded the company of her coworkers, but she tended to get overexcited at the prospect of aliens, much to her own embarrassment. When she observed the suspected alien aircraft today, she wanted to be on her own to squeal and get excited without one of the men teasing her.

She was off to the side of the castle, observing the freshly-cut tree stumps around it. It had been exactly nine days since the castle had first appeared, but none of the agents had caught sight of anyone in or around the castle since that first night. It was late in the afternoon, soon to be evening, and she was collecting samples of rubble and dirt from around the castle. Dr. Scott had been adamant about not entering or touching the castle itself, not yet. If it was of alien origin, then it would be best not to get too close to it until they knew it was safe. The good thing was that it was so far out into the middle of nowhere that the general public likely wouldn't find it easily.

So it was with this knowledge in mind that Cheryl noticed the woman jump out the window.

It was so quick she almost didn't see it. A window on the side of the castle, on the bottom floor and only about four feet from the ground, opened quickly. Cheryl caught it out of the corner of her eye and turned quickly, one hand holding a camera and the other hovering over the gun at her side. But it wasn't the Dalek-styled alien she'd been expecting (and maybe hoping for.) What she did see,`however, was a woman jump head-first out the window and belly-flop onto the ground below. The woman seemed unscathed, scrambling up and breaking into a run across the clearing, stopping every few seconds to hop into the air and flap her arms desperately.

Cheryl stared, might've even giggled at this woman if not for the fact that she'd just come out of an alien spacecraft. The sight continued in this odd fashion, the woman in the distance thrusting herself into the air and flapping her arms enough that Cheryl almost feared that she would dislocate her arms. The woman eventually jerked around so that her eyes were directly on Cheryl's face, and she broke into a run toward Cheryl.

Cheryl's hand went from hovering over her gun to tightening around it, and she was about to scream "Stop!" when the woman jumped again, waving her arms, and landed flat on her face in the grass.

The woman lay motionless on the ground, and Cheryl, still gripping her gun, approached with caution. At about two meters' distance, she said carefully, "Miss? Are you alright?"

The woman's head snapped up, a few strands of grass caught in her giant mane of red hair. Her face was painted white, with dramatic violet and red makeup adoring her eyes and lips. She seemed to take a second to focus on Cheryl, but when she did, she whispered, "I need you to help me."

That in itself was enough for Cheryl to get closer and kneel down, taking a hand off her gun and hovering it near the woman. "It's all alright, miss. Everything will be fine. What's the problem?"

The woman pushed herself up to look at Cheryl more closely, and she said, with all the seriousness in the world, "I'm a bird. I'm a bird trapped in a woman's body. I can't fly anymore and I don't know how this happened to me."

The words struck Cheryl dumb for a moment, until she got a good look at the woman's eyes. Her pupils were dilated, so much so that Cheryl couldn't tell what color the irises were. _Ah,_ she thought at once. _Drugs._

"Alright, miss," Cheryl said, standing up fully and reaching for the woman's hand. "I see you seem to be having some trouble. Want me to drop you off at the police station - ?" Cheryl paused suddenly, remembering that this woman, no matter how high she was, had just come out of an extraterrestrial ship. Police might not be the best option. "Actually," Cheryl said, pulling the woman to her feet, "why don't you come to work with me? My coworkers and I can help you."

"You don't understand," the woman grabbed Cheryl by the front of her shirt and pulled her closer, until her face was merely inches away. "I need to get back to my nest. I know I have a nest somewhere. I don't remember where it is. I think I have chicks."

Cheryl did laugh a bit at that one, and gently took the woman's wrists and pushed her back a little. "I'll help you find your nest, miss. . . . what is your name?"

"My name?" The woman blinked a few time, and she repeated "my name" a few times before finally stating, "I think it started with an M. . . . Magenta. That's my name. It's Magenta."

"Okay, Magenta," Cheryl said kindly, "let's get you out of here, shall we?"

And so she took the Magenta's hand and led her out to the car, not noticing, as she drove away, that a blonde man had barged out the front door. Not hearing one bit as he screamed " _Magenta! Where did you go!?_ "

* * *

"Damn it, Eddie, she's gone!" Riff Raff burst back into the zen room only to find that Eddie and Frank were drunkenly lapping at each other's mouths. A gross suction sound reverberated around the room when they detached themselves from each other, Frank giving him an irritated look and Eddie looking highly dazed.

"Wha. . . ?" Eddie said, turning his head to Riff Raff, red lipstick smeared around his cheeks and chin. "What d'you mean, she's gone?"

"Magenta is gone! Out of the house! Off the property! _Gone!_ " Riff Raff was not often an emotional man, but the panic that filled his voice was near palpable. "She ran off, and I lost her in all these damn hallways, and I checked the entire fucking castle from roof to floorboards and she's _not! Fucking! Here!_ "

Eddie didn't seem prepared at all when Riff Raff lunged at him, his almost clawed hands wrapping around Eddie's neck. " _Not dangerous, is it? That shit drove her mad, and it's your_ fucking _fault, you brought it, I swear to the Queen of Transsexual if she gets hurt you won't live to see midnight -_ "

 **Eddie did it on purpose.**

 **He tried to kill your precious sister.**

 **He succeeded, I bet.**

 **I bet she went and threw herself into oncoming traffic.**

Riff Raff felt a sharp, hot sting on his side, and he yelped, letting go of Eddie. The sting came again, and he rolled off of the Earthling, onto the floor. Again, the sting, and then he felt a high-heeled shoe place itself on his shoulder. Frank's voice, as cold and deadly as a demon's, slithered into his ears. "Now, Riff Raff, you know it's highly inappropriate to attack our guest. No matter how upset you are."

Riff Raff looked up to see Frank standing over him, a foot on his shoulder and a whip in his hand - _where did he get that?_ \- and a poisonous look in his eyes. His master turned to where Eddie sat, eyes wide with alarm as he held his neck. Frank said, his voice going as sweet as pie, "Now, I'm truly sorry for that, Eddie. Riff Raff can get a bit over emotional when it comes to his dear sister."

"S - sister?" Eddie stuttered out.

"Why yes," Frank said, and Riff Raff would've strangled him, too, if not for the stinging on his body. "Magenta is Riff Raff's precious, much adored little sister. Didn't you know that?"

"I -" Eddie had gotten up, his beer loose in his hand, and he said slowly, "I think - I should probably - go now."

"If that is what you wish," Frank said warmly. "I assume you know where the front door is? I'd show you out myself, but you see, I have something to deal with in here."

"I - yeah - I'll see you around. . . ." Fearful eyes still focused on Riff Raff, Eddie backed out of the room, and Riff Raff could hear him start to run as soon as he was out of sight.

Frank turned his head back to Riff Raff and immediately brought the whip down again, the burn ripping through Riff Raff's body as he convulsed under it. Frank spoke again, with all the venom of a snake. "You don't attack my playmates. At all, ever. I don't care what's going on in that bald head of yours, and I don't care if they've broken all of Magenta's limbs. Now if you're that concerned about your sister's whereabouts, then I suggest you go check the monitor to look for her. And keep this moment in mind, should ever you decide to do something this idiotic again."

Riff Raff opened his mouth to protest, but Frank snapped the whip upwards, ready to bring it back down on Riff Raff's body. Riff Raff winced, and Frank took his foot off of him, satisfied with the reaction. Slowly, Riff Raff stood and made his way for the nearest monitor.

He checked all the footage for the last hour or so. Eventually, he found something, but it wasn't his sister. . . . it was an Earthling woman, and she appeared to be taking multiple photos and samples of the area around their castle.

"Master? There appears to have been an Earthling -" He cut himself off as soon as Magenta appeared on the monitor.

"What? What did you say there was?" Frank hurried over and pushed Riff Raff out of the way to see the screen, and together, they watched as the Earthling woman and Magenta spoke before Magenta - who looked lost and empty-headed - was led away by the hand to somewhere off camera.

"Magenta - my angel - she's been kidnapped -" The panic flooded his chest, his stomach, all of his airways. He moaned, the sound resembling one of physical agony.

"Oh, _damn,_ " Frank said, his irritation evident. "What was that human doing so near our castle? And where, exactly, is she taking my maid? Magenta's the only one around here who can cook!"

* * *

The woman in the passenger seat of Cheryl's car - Magenta, what an odd name - went back and forth between babbling incomprehensibly and being silent for long stretches of time. A few times she'd gone so quiet that Cheryl had had to turn to look at her to make sure she was still breathing. Cheryl noticed, on one of these, glances, that a small square of paper with a smiley face on it was stuck to Magenta's skirt. LSD, just as Cheryl had suspected.

She was fairly sure that this woman in her car was human, but she hadn't ruled out the possibility of alien, not quite yet. _She could be like Klaatu, a humanoid alien,_ Cheryl thought.

"Where's Riff Raff?" Magenta was looking at her with heavy scrutiny. "It's been too long since I've last seen him. Do you know where he is, Goorgflutz?"

"Goorgflutz" was what Magenta had been calling Cheryl for the last ten minutes, so Cheryl decided to go with it. "I don't know where Riff Raff is, miss."

"Yes, you do," Magenta said, her voice becoming increasingly aggressive. "You did something with him. Where is he? What did you do?"

The harshness in her voice unnerved Cheryl a bit, and she sent a silent prayer to whatever god existed that this woman didn't try to attack her. "I don't. I don't even know who he is."

"You _stole_ him!" The sudden scream was enough to make Cheryl jerk the steering wheel a bit and almost swerve off the road. " _You fucking son of a bitch, you stole him from me, I'll kill you, I swear to fuck I'll murder you -_ "

And then they did swerve off the road, because Magenta lunged from her seat and landed a punch right in Cheryl's jaw. Cheryl's hands violently jerked the steering wheel, and the car spun to the side before catching on a tree. The airbags blew open, and Cheryl heard Magenta screech in protest as she was trapped against the seat.

Cheryl wasted no time, unbuckling herself before wriggling out of the car door and equipping her gun. She pointed it to the yelling woman in the passenger seat, breathing deeply, her jaw burning in pain from the punch. _Stronger than she looks,_ Cheryl thought.

Keeping one hand with the gun carefully aimed at Magenta, Cheryl reached for her walky talky and spoke into it. "Dr. Scott? You there?"

Static. More vicious sounds from Magenta. And then: "Cheryl? Vhat is going on out zere?"

"I found someone at the castle. A woman," Cheryl said, circling around the car to look closer at Magenta.

"A voman?"

"Yes. Magenta is her name. Lots of red hair, a little over five feet tall, in her mid-to-late twenties, and out of her mind on LSD," Cheryl said. "I was driving her over there in my car, and she attacked me and now we've crashed. She's stuck in the passenger seat, but -" a glance at Magenta's hands, which were getting closer and closer to the seat belt buckle, "- I don't think she'll be stuck for long. I'm a little ways out of town, down Triffid Avenue."

"Try to keep her zere. Michael and Dave will be over as soon as possible."

"I will -" Cheryl heard the click of the belt buckle.

Almost faster than possible, Magenta was out of the car. She landed right on her side, a squawk of irritation rising from her mouth. Cheryl kept the gun aimed.

"Now, Magenta," Cheryl said, "I don't want to hurt you, just let me -"

But Magenta lunged at her without any regard for the gun. Cheryl fired, but Magenta's hand hit hers, forcing the gun upwards and away from them both. Another punch was landed in Cheryl's throat, and she let out a choking cough as Magenta forced her down to her knees. The gun was snapped right out of Cheryl's hand and soon it went off again, but this time, Cheryl felt the bullet go into her abdomen.

She flailed her hand, desperate to grab something, and ended up with a handful of Magenta's hair. But the other woman seemed to feel no pain as she pulled away, a few coppery strands ripping from her scalp. Magenta forced Cheryl to her back, gasping for breath as she aimed the gun to her. When she spoke, her voice was a pitiless rasp. "Answer me right now, Earthling. Where is Riff Raff? What did you do to him?"

Cheryl was going into shock. Blood began to darken the grass under her. "I - don't -"

" _Don't lie to me!_ " A kick, right onto Cheryl's wound. Cheryl exhaled suddenly and sharply, and she couldn't speak again. " _Where is he? What did you do, you stupid Earthling? What did you do?_ "

Cheryl could only sputter helplessly, and Magenta snorted. "Pathetic maggot," she whispered coldly. "I didn't even want to come to this planet. . . ."

Cheryl had two thoughts before she passed out. One: _An alien. This woman is an alien._

And two: _Bitch is hard core._

* * *

Magenta was fairly aware of herself as she ran at her highest speed down the street, back toward the castle. The effects of the drug Eddie had given her - she had indeed worked out that it was some sort of drug - were still persistent, but not as indiscernible from reality as they were during the first hours. She was still fairly convinced that the Earthling she'd just assaulted and left for dead had done something to her precious brother. And she didn't feel any guilt over what she'd just done, and likely wouldn't when she was completely down from the drug high.

She'd always been a very fast runner, so it wasn't taking her long at all to make her way down the road. With the weapon in her hand she felt protected. She had no idea what it was or what it even did, really. But she was alone on this strange planet, and it was better than nothing.

So when the motorcycle ran by her and then immediately stopped right behind her, she turned around and pointed the weapon with no hesitation.

The person on the motorcycle stopped and took off his helmet, and despite her muddled mind trying to tell her that this was a reanimated corpse, she knew by the face that it was only Eddie. He looked up at her and jumped back at the sight of her weapon.

"Jesus Christ, woman, what are you doing?" He flung himself backwards and put up his arms in a "please have mercy" gesture. "Put it down, fuck, don't shoot -"

"Eddie," Magenta said, her voice a hiss of venom. "Give me one damn good reason I shouldn't shoot you right now."

"Shit, fuck, I didn't know you'd have such a bad trip, where the fuck did you get - ?" He got to his knees as his eyes stayed on the weapon. "Put it down, please, God damn, I didn't mean for you to get so whacked out!"

She moved closer. "Another Earthling. She did something with Riff Raff. Where is he? You were in on it, weren't you? You fucking gave me that drug to distract me, to fucking make me weaker while she got him, and then she tried to take me too. You shithead, Eddie, _I should just fucking kill you - !_ "

"No! No no no no, God no, please, I wanna live, I didn't _do_ anything!" Eddie looked ready to cry now. "Fuck, first your crazy brother and now you, what the fuck is _wrong_ with you people, please -"

"Riff Raff?" Magenta said, the mention of her brother piquing her interest. "Where is he? You know where he is, don't you?"

"Yes! Yes, I know where he is, I'll take you to him, just please, _don't shoot me -_ "

"Take me to him," Magenta said, her voice filled with threat. "Now."

"Jesus fuck, okay, get on, just get on the motorcycle, I'll take you right to him!"

"Well, let's get to it then," Magenta said, and soon they were on the motorcycle, Eddie leading the way and Magenta keeping the weapon pressed firmly into his back.

* * *

Frank was regretting his decision to ever choose the two siblings as his companions on this trip to Earth.

Well, technically, he'd only chosen Riff Raff. Magenta was a condition of having the blonde man; he'd refused to go anywhere where she wouldn't be. What Frank was regretting, in particular, his agreeing to have her come along. Extra help and a good cook was what he'd expected out of her, but what he'd gotten was Riff Raff's emotional crutch.

Riff Raff was in near hysterics, walking around blubbering about how his _darling_ , his _love_ , his _angel_ was kidnapped by Earthlings. Frank was more concerned about what that Earthling had been doing so close to his castle uninvited, and what information about them Magenta could possibly reveal in her mentally unbalanced state. It was irritating, to have his normally stoic handyman such an emotional mess over her. Irritating for a few reasons.

One, Frank was just a bit disgusted over the siblings' relationship. He knew they were brother and sister. He also knew that they held an intense romantic and sexual relationship, and had for years before they'd started working for him back on Transsexual. On their home planet, incest between consenting adults - which Riff Raff and Magenta were - was not illegal. It was, however, strongly looked down upon. Frank himself had an older brother and a younger sister, and the thought of having any sort of non-familial relationship with them made him sick to his stomach. That went for any of his close relatives, to be honest.

Two, Riff Raff was so irrational and emotional that he wasn't being useful at all. Frank had asked him several times to wipe off the monitor in the zen room and get whatever he needed so that they could go track down Magenta, but all that he was getting in response was a sobbing man who insisted that they go _right now,_ she could be dead, and he couldn't live with himself if she was dead. "Unhealthy, much?" Frank had responded, which only made his handyman cry harder. So hard that Frank had relented and packed him into the truck without making him do anything else. _Damn, is it like this with everyone in relationships?_ Frank himself was aromantic, and while he loved sex and sexy people probably more than anything, he didn't care for romance or relationships at all. And over emotional shit like this only turned him off even more.

And lastly, he was just the slightest bit jealous. Not of their romance, but of how Riff Raff seemed to jump at sex with Magenta at any moment (Frank had walked in on and overheard them quite a few times) and yet continually rejected Frank's own advances. Frank was not used to not getting his way. Especially not when it came to sex. Magenta was beautiful, sure, and he'd love to get her into bed at some point. But he found Riff Raff far sexier, to be honest. Might've been because he had a strong preference toward blonde men. This blonde man, in particular, seemed so hell bent on rejecting him that he was growing increasingly bitter. Especially since he knew that Riff Raff and Magenta had an open sexual relationship, that they did and had brought other people into their escapades.

Frank seemed to be the exception for both of them. Which he was not okay with, especially not as far as Riff Raff was concerned.

"We're going, Riff Raff, stop whining," Frank snapped as they got into the truck. Riff Raff only let out a few more panicked sobs from the passenger seat.

They pulled the truck out onto the street and began to drive. Frank had a tracker built into the truck, and a bit of DNA from Magenta was all that was needed for the Transsexualite technology to point them toward where his domestic was. He'd found Magenta's hair brush and ripped a few strands from it, and within seconds of receiving her genetic code, a holographic arrow manifested in the truck, pointing them right into the direction where Magenta had been taken. Frank followed the arrow, driving away from the castle and away from the town, wanting to smack Riff Raff again for crying so much.

They were barely a mile up when Frank saw Eddie's motorcycle coming toward them. Eddie himself waved at them, his arm almost flapping hysterically, and Frank noticed another pale limb wrapped around Eddie's torso. Eddie pulled over, and Frank saw that instantly recognizable red hair on the person riding with him. Quickly, he pulled over, and said to his handyman "Look, Riff Raff, I think we found her -"

" _What!?_ " Riff Raff immediately looked up from where his face had been buried into his hands. " _Where!? Where is she!?_ "

The Frank pulled the truck over, but Riff Raff almost jumped out before he'd even stopped completely. Eddie had pulled over on the other side of the road, and Magenta came sprinting off the motorcycle. The siblings crashed into one another right in the middle of the road, and Frank turned his head away in mild distaste when they began to whisper to and hold each other tightly.

Frank instead made his way over to Eddie, who was hunched over the motorcycle, looking so traumatized that Frank immediately knew Magenta had done something to threaten him. He leaned against the vehicle and gave Eddie a pitying look. "Did she try to kill you?"

Eddie jerked his head up to Frank and blinked a few times before muttering, "Y'know, Alice. . . . I don't think I like your servants very much."

"Oh, I don't either," Frank said, turning to look at where the pair stood in the road, their mouths locked together and their hands far too grabby for such a public area.

Eddie stared at them too and said, "Are they, uh. . . . are they really. . . . y'know, brother and sister?"

"Full flesh and blood, yes."

"Uh. . . ." Eddie shook slightly and ran a hand quickly through his messy hair. "I, uh. . . . I don't know how I feel about that."

Frank shrugged. "I don't bother trying to stop them, so who cares, really? Anyway," Frank leaned toward Eddie and ran a finger along his knuckles. "I understand if they might've traumatized you a bit." Eddie's blue eyes went back up to Frank, and Frank smiled at him. "You don't have to come back to my castle, if you don't want. We could just. . . ." Frank leaned forward and nipped at Eddie's ear, ". . . . find somewhere else."

"That, uh, that'd be nice. . . ." Eddie said, leaning into Frank a bit more. "It might be a while before I can, uh, be around them again. . . ."

Frank giggled. "Understandable, little toy."

* * *

Cheryl was, luckily enough, found by Dr. Scott soon enough to get her to a hospital. She told the doctors it had been a mugging, that she'd crashed her car and been ambushed by an unidentified man soon afterwards. She told Dr. Scott a far different story, and had given him something highly important: a few long, curly, coppery strands of hair that Cheryl had grabbed from the woman who'd assaulted her. The woman who'd referred to her as "Earthling."

Dr. Scott, in that moment, was alone in the lab, waiting for the tests on the hair to come back. Testing for what, he wasn't sure, but as he sipped his tea and thrummed his fingers irritably on his wheelchair, he hoped that something pointing toward alien life came back. Something. Anything. Anything to prove to the other members of the FBI that aliens and UFOs were not just silly child's play. . . .

The results came back soon enough.

The hairs did not come from a human.


End file.
